Posted in poetry, tagged assistant, Benny Thomas, comic poetry, Dvorak, itinerant street players, Rubenesque on February 23, 2013 | Leave a Comment »
She is Rubenesque and collect change while I play Dvorak,-
Had you heard me at the fair playing Humoresque
You might think there is something fine about my help:
She is the woman with beard and from the county Cork.
Despite her girth she is nothing more than Rubenesque.
benny
Posted in poetry, tagged Benny Thomas, comic poetry, bad debts, millions, in the red on February 23, 2013 | Leave a Comment »
The other day I traipsed my way to the bank and said
‘I made my first million with you ,Why am I then in the red?’
‘Oh sir, dear sir,’ cried the banker red in the face, ’The villain
Isn’t the color but long over dues, Oh sir, you owe us billion’.
Posted in poetry, tagged Benny Thomas, comic poetry, filling, King, sausage, subjects on February 23, 2013 | Leave a Comment »
If I were the king of sausages Id’ certainly balk
At such sawdust and lard that add to their bulk;
No, I shalln’t do a thing but sing to this refrain :
My subjects go the whole hog for honor but in vain.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Benny Thomas, comic poetry, fashion on February 23, 2013 | Leave a Comment »
The mannequins made pirouettes along parquetry
Wafer thin their finery that rustled in all glory;
Had I such lissome languid line of goods,Oh despair
I shall move the earth to add weight, and fix my hair.
benny
Posted in art, parody, tagged art, beauty fads, Benny Thomas, comic poetry, felt pen, Georg Gordon, illustration, ink and brush, Lord Byron, parody, plastic surgery, poetry, the weekend poetry on February 25, 2012 | Leave a Comment »
She walks in beauty, nipt and tuck’t
Flabs spread all o’er, surgeons art
Ne’r more meet than in Mary Plukket,
And she is out to steal my heart.
Walk on by, walk on Mary Pluckket
I shall one day pledge my heart.
2.
One more lipo-suction would have
Marred my Mary beyond repair;
My eternal pledge is mine to give
For millions in exchange fair, -
But is it worth or freedom I crave?
One day I shall come with an answer.
3.
She walks in beauty, nipt and tuck’t
But not for long, she is big with child
And all her strivings by chance crack’t.
Alas, nipt and tuck’t by thoughts wild
she sees our babe neatly incised and pluckt
At birth than her perfect form marr’d.
benny
Posted in parody, tagged Benny Thomas, comic poetry, google, Heath, King Lear, Larry Page, parody, Shakespeare, spam filter on December 19, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
Ac III, sc-ii (lines 1-24)
Spam! Spam! Delete them all!
Out! Out!
You cowardly poltroons stop
And think what you cut and paste does no good!
Your sulphurous and beguiling offer
Clog my inbox! And a spam filter –seems what
Stops you on tracks ! And almighty Jove here
Comes an offer- for spam filter no less!
Strike at that cretin’s profoundity to think
Faster than my finger can.
Spam, spam Delete them all!
I tax you not Larry, nor do I page you.
But google at my horrible pleasure,
A poor infirm weak and harried old man
To be weaned out of this habit, I must
Smash this vile thing- keyboard the mouse and all.
If you see me leer you shall guess why.
benny
Posted in parody, tagged Benny Thomas, comic poetry, modern version, Omar Khayyam on June 27, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
The Rubaiyat-parody
quatrain #2
Seeking that old thrill that begins anew
I heard a cry within, ‘I need a shot!’
‘Yeah with a monkey on my back,’ a fix
Is all needed to please the slave driver.
benny
Posted in poetry, tagged bennythomas, comic poetry, life on April 7, 2011 | 1 Comment »
There is more to a sailor
Than a tailor,
Stitching a tear is more than
A tar will do.
Ho, Ho Sinbad the sailor I am-
My father a poor tailor
Spun yarns more than good for him.
He cut sleeves shorter
while his eyes crossed out;
He hemmed and hawed while he
Looped his needle and thread
To draw blood and his life out.
There is more to a sailor
Than a tailor.
Ho, Ho Sinbad the sailor I am
I am more at sea than the tailor
Never have I spun yarns like my father
But I am left
Just as high and dry
Tucked in a shroud!
(reprinted from Pup of my Doggerels of Jan. 21,2011)
benny
Posted in parody, tagged 2010, airport, BAA, Christmas, classics, comic poetry, Heathrow, humor, Lord Byron, poetry, travel chaos on December 26, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
Christmas At Heathrow©
So we’ll take no more a Boeing
Even if we want to,
Though the heart be, oh, a- winging
And the hearth be still ablaze.
For the sleet and snow falling
Has the runway out of sight-
So Christmas at Heathrow is
Our sad plight this year.
Though the ticket was all proper-
Homecoming, alas, must wait;
Though the heart be a-winging
We can’t shovel our way out.
benny
Posted in parody, poetry, tagged Benny Thomas, comic poetry, William Wordsworth on November 9, 2010 | Leave a Comment »
My Heart Leaps Up
My heart leaps up when I behold
A porn-site on the web:
So was it in postcards of old;
So it is now I am so old;
So be it when I shall behold
All in the web!
What I seek shall never come true
And I could wish a thought were there
That made them virginal in their deed.
benny
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