Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘jokes’

Once I had such a beautiful coat. Trouble was whenever I put it on, no one saw me. If I reminded them ‘I am here’ the answer was,’Clothes make a man. no more is needed.’

2.

During the days of great Depression I tried to live as grandly as I could to fight its effect on me. My wallet was a gold mine but depression being such my hands could not reach it. My foot was stuck above it, you see.’

3.

I wanted to paint the ceiling as Michaelangelo would have done. But already some one had been at it what with clouds so life-like. I did not have the heart to paint and instead began drawing cheques.

4.

Have I told the time when I went to the heart of Africa? Once after an arduous travel I thought I would wash my dirt away. While I got into a big cauldron for the purpose, instantly came the bushmen from Kalahari and thereabouts, whooping in making a song and dance about me.  I asked my guide what was that for and he says, ” Bush meat and and you are in it.”

5.

There are two ways for a barefoot doctor to handle a banana in an African Jungle: give the banana to the silver back and slip on its peel yourself. ‘Have banana will travel as the bushmen say.’ The other way is to eat the banana and give the peel to the silver back. No one has lived to tell how does it taste.

6.

I had an uncle of lamentable memory who was good at standing up any one who had an appointment with him. When finally death came up my late uncle said,’Cant you knock before you come in?’ That is why I am here for and death gave a knock out that he would never remember.

benny

Read Full Post »

Patient to the eye doctor: Oh doc,  I can’t see. I am going blind.

Doctor: Don’t worry. I can see,

2.

Patient: I can only see large letters.

Doctor (relieved),’You will find no difficulty, My bills are all for large figures.’  

benny

Read Full Post »

1.
“Boss, I am trying to see the man behind the Gucci you wear. Am I seeing the pair or your double face?

2.
The stud: a lot more would have loved me had I downplayed my act.

3.
The family that prays together could have stayed longer till some joker brought a glock handgun and said to them ,’Here is what I got as answer to my prayers.’
benny

Read Full Post »

Imagine my boss fired me. I tried correcting him. I said, ‘You are fired up and I am under fire.’
2.
‘Boss I could have worker harder if the clock on the wall beat faster.’
3.
All these happened in one day’s work.
The last straw was when my boss found me taking dictation and he said in a fury, ‘Must you take it all lying down, Ben?’
‘Oh you feel sorry that I have no self respect. If it is of some comfort,’I haven’t written any what you said.’
It was at that moment he got all fired up.
Of course you think I am telling lies.
Why should I?
My laidback lifestyle is no more accurate than your saying, ’the sun rises on the east.’ It isn’t worth getting up to prove you wrong.

Warning: Don’t try this at your workplace.
benny

Read Full Post »

It Takes Two to Tango©
One morning Mulla was seen riding the donkey with his back to the animal.
‘What on earth are you doing Mulla?’ his neighbor asked.
‘This new animal is quite contrary. I asked him to go to Jalalabad. And he took me to Karachi instead.’
‘So where do you think you are going now?’
Oh nowhere in particular.’ Replied Mulla with a sly smile, ‘I just want to show if it come to that I can also play the game’.
benny

Read Full Post »

The jester wore his cap and bell. During the banquet the king laughed so hard at his jests; so did  the entire court. Only that his son remained glum and silent.  At the end the king called his jester  to thank for the  entertainment. Jester frankly admitted he didn’t utter a word.

“I know your cap and bell took over.” The king took the cap and slapped it on his son’s head. “Son let your cap and bell be your company.”Hardly had the young man worn it he went into a giggle that made the entire court roll on the ground with laughter. King and the queen were also rolling in mirth. Throughout this the bell was struck dumb . ‘Before a giggle becomes a  joke I had better leave.”murmured the jester So he did unnoticed.

benny

Read Full Post »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,509 other followers