Pie-in-the-Skye is no ordinary kingdom. The king was a louse and yet the subjects were the most patriotic in their sentiments. Everytime the king sent his coach driven by a team of six Arabian horses for some errand or other the people turned out in droves to pay their respects. The king was never allowed to show himself since a sight of him would have given their secret away. The King was shown to be ten foot tall and of the most magnificent bearing. The king knew he was a louse and his name was King Crusty.
The Royal House of Hot Biscuits never gave out press releases or employed a press agent. Somehow the patriotism of the man on the street got the better of him and he was apt to tell any visiting stranger that his king was the greatest. By repetition the royal person became enlarged as though he was the grandest. Indeed he was a louse till he wanted to prove he was not.
There was a neighboring kingdom by name Mush-hush beyond the mountain ranges. King Crusty never had an inkling his fate was bound with that realm by name Mush-hush, where thistles grew and men lived in squalor. No one would have thought it a place to settle down unless he had a taste for thistles.
One day Queen Crusty came into her husband’s study and said,” You don’t know who you really are! They speak of you as though you are Invincible, a god!”
“ Who me?”
“Yeah. You are a Hercules. That is what the people say.”
“ Whoever heard of a 90 pound Hercules. A god who is incontinent to boot?’
The Queen would have none of it. She said, “ You as my reports go, can swallow Mush-hush in one gulp. Show people that you are indeed as they think. Goaded by the Queen the king set out to conquer Mush-hush. The king and the army reached the border. Just before battle cry was to sound the army waited for the king’s signal. But the king felt his belly raging and he was helpless. He let go his shit there and then. It was a deluge that all the rank and file saw and they were soon rolling on the ground in uncontrollable laughter. How can an army laughing their heads off fight a war? Since then Pie-in-the Skye never practised war.
The people realized their king was just like any other, no more or less. They in fact felt more protective towards their king who was physically weak. Still he was their king.