Humorist Alphonse Allais once went to collect his pay cheque from the newspaper he wrote for. “I would like my wage” he said to the cashier.
“Tut, tut, Mr. Allais,” remarked the cashier, surely you know that the correct word is wages.”
“Well,” replied Mr. Allais, “for such a small amount I did not think it necessary to use the plural.”
During the question period following a lecture, the poet Ogden Nash was asked, “How do you know when you have written something that is successful?.” Quick came the reply: “When I get a cheque from the editor.”
“How can I ever show my appreciation?” gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow after he had solved her legal troubles.
“My dear,” replied Darrow, “ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question.”