Archive for September 11th, 2009

Here is the news that was hot 13 billion years ago. Since we have decided to quit printing Lat’ititude we shall let our readers onto some of the news that made the headlines:

This Day 13 billion years Ago
Boy, I may be a rookie reporter but am I hot?
Whatever I see is worth reporting to my readers out there in IONs and Plasma. I have checked with my sources who swear the Big Bang is here to stay. The business matters are still in a flux but finance pundits confidentially tell that they may opt for a cartel since the bottom of inflation is reached. What it melts down  to is this: matter has a chance to pair off with others. Merger is not what I have in mind.
I had a chance to see Mr. Sun who is in a kind of flutter.  There was no con-Fusion when Mr. Sun came up to answer my questions already okayed by Mr. Guy- out- there. (We run a syndicated paper for God’s sake.) I had suf-Fission’ent proof to make a case for energy saving. At the end of  one to one interview I could get Mr. Sun admit that he ain’t constant. He must run out of steam some day. Till such time keep your fingers crossed that the Big Bang shows some results worth reporting.
Here is a wake up call to my readers sitting on their butts. Go back to your drawing boards and try some shapes for nebula that stunningly unfold out here.
Happy reading fellas,- (  U. Lie Wilson, the reporter in waiting)


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Obese patient: Doctor, you don’t say I suffer from low esteem. Tell me such a thought didn’t even cross your mind?
Doctor Thin: Ahem.
Patient: “Cross your heart and say it!”
Doctor Thin( wearily):  Your condition is due to what then?
Obese Patient showing her hands: “I have my finger in every pie, you see?”

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Most accidents often occur in the bath.  I have seen so many cases where the victim has come to grief after slipping over a bar of soap. In order to avoid any accident follow my grandma’s remedy. She keeps soap away from the reach of all.
It was her firm belief : cleanliness is next to godliness. If you could reach where she has kept it you probably don’t need a bath anyway. You are clean.
She was unbearable for this world and probably she smells like roses out there.
One of the dilemma’s I face while taking a shower is to get the right temperature. In my family I am the short one and however much I try by the time water hits my skin it is freezing cold.
My home remedy for those who are as short as I am : draw water but don’t forget to take a bucket along and leave your pen and brushes away.

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