Archive for April 25th, 2011

Dogs laugh with their tails but it all ends where you are greeted with a growl.
Man laughs at best from his belly but at worst backbites.


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Sai Baba is dead! Long live Sai Baba.
India need one god to take over all the problems of being an Indian. Foreigners are also welcome.
This time we have slightly changed our criteria. The god that we choose need not build hospitals or schools. He has nothing to do for alleviating the miseries of being poor or sick. He must bear every uncertainty of our existence. It is so simple.
If our law is not adequate an higher law of one man-one god will apply.
If a hungry man comes the god must produce out of thin air laddus and it should conform to Agmark.
If a devotee comes to hear words of comfort, god must turn himself into a vending machine churning out homilies at the drop of 100 rupees pm.
If man and woman require a hug the god must be able to envelop the person in need, in a bear hug.
If one comes with inauspicious horoscope create one that is unbeatable whether on earth or in paraloka
If one comes for a darshan give the person what he desires. Only that he does in return what god wants to see: the color of his money.
Only certainty a worshipper needs in India is that he can throw all his uncertainties onto another. An Indian spiritualizes that it requires a god to recognize another god. Of course some might say the fool has just met a crook. Not so with India with their problems,- mostly of the making of fools whether in the ruling or in the ruled class.
Thus a god you must have for peace of mind. No two ways about it.
The relation between God and his bhaktas is predetermined. No exception allowed.
Let us see what does an Indian do? He passes all his worries onto his family,community and the nation without a sweat. If he has undertaken a megaproject he has taken loan using the good offices of some bigwigs without intention of ever honouring his debt of honour; if he has married off his sons he has already bilked the girls parents with tall tales of his son’s amazing future; one son is already in air,a pilot (holding a fake certificate) and nobody knows the uncertainty of their lives are handed over to him in good faith; he has other sons applying for higher education on quota exclusively meant for the poor by tampering with the records -and some middle level bureaucrats are already accomplices in his shenanigans, he has under several loopholes avoided paying taxes to the concerned department and many other. What with all these incredible escapades to be one step ahead of others in the simple matter of living, all that is left are uncertainties. Naturally the god must be of immense talents-no matter holy or unholy, to give him the assurance. Producing an air of plausibility where there is none is essential in god.
So if you have such a talent step out of the crowd of cyphers,blancos,nobodies. The job commands crores and mega crores of rupees.gold ingots,precious metals- all tax-free!
If you have some physical oddity like a melon for a head and a bittergourd for nose never mind. All we need to know is you can speak and a dramatic flair to produce some trifle out of nowhere.
Tailpiece: Per day some 47 farmers commit suicide out of desperation in India. This has been going on for sometime. They attain the lotus feet of the gods and these gods are not to be confused with the god we choose for the foolish,crooked and the lazy ignoramuses.

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