Archive for November 16th, 2011

I am not what I seem. I am some three thousand years old. Let it not hold up the story.
When I reached the age of 987 and having suffered my wife constantly harping of the dowry she brought into our marriage I looked some way of escaping it all. I could have shrugged it off had I tried harder but she made everyone in the neighborhood know of the fact. To top it all she would rub in her private grievances whenever I wanted a little loving. I knew from the first time we lay in our marriage bed how she was mistaken to my ability to keep her in a lifestyle she was used to. Of course I gritted my teeth and suffered her to speak her mind. Of course I did what made me feel complete. Sex made me feel good but still, the bed was the coldest place on the earth. The day after I turned 987 I was all dressed for day. I went to my wife and laughed and say,’I shall be out for a while. Don’t wait for me for lunch.’
I was an astronaut and I took off with a laugh and even as I sped faster than light and travelled into farthest reaches where no man had ever before me touched the ground. I was deliriously happy. After dawdling over the fiasco of marrying my wife when I had future, I told myself to take firm grip of my future. When I landed on the earth I knew the world had changed. The earth was totally in peace and from that moment I knew that my wife is a thing of the past. My neighborhood was different and I looked no older than some thirty years. My premonition was correct. ‘My wife was dead and gone. Nothing that reminded of her remained. I shall take my future and I lead my life’ said I.
No wonder when the whole neighborhood was gunning for me in the next two years I could shrug it off. I told them that I didn’t intend to marry. ‘But you are in flower of your youth.’ Many said earnestly. ‘You will make some woman deliriously happy’ said one who had become my shadow of sorts. ‘Oh no,’ I said carelessly,’ I am used to a lifestyle no woman is worth considering for.’ in the end I brought a bitch home and said,’ Nothing like a dog. Man’s best companion.’
In the end I was left to myself. I was so happy with the dog who fawned on me. How many ways she delighted me! she was ultimate in playfulness. Every time I threw a bone she ran and ran with it. She improvised on it with so many complex gimmicks and every time she came she had some twenty to twenty-five mutts at her heels sniffing her all over. The delight of her fetching the bone was lost in the voracious appetite of those stray dogs that never quite left the place. So one day I chided my dog that the very sight of a bone made me sick for the mutts that she brought home. The dog wagged her tail and said,’I am used to a lifestyle that you cannot give either in my previous or this present life.’
It made me shot up as though someone had lit a firecracker in my behind. The tone was very familiar through her whelping, and the toss of her head was distinctively of my wife.’
I could only sigh.

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