In a castle of Americana, Vermont , belonging to the banker Jonas Rosenberg, lived a youth, whom nature had endowed with the most gentle manners. I suppose, of his being called Candide owes to his transparency to the point of being gullible. He was eager to be taught. He did not mind what as long as it was what passed for facts. Oh his tutor Pangloss never tired of making this impressionable youth know facts of this life and of world to come; he led him with precepts he had learnt at the cost of life experience. They would be seen at all hours during the day under all kinds of weather. The castle grounds were extensive and there were parks and benches that took care of the weariness of walking. Dr. Pangloss was sure to drill into the head of his pupil why the banker was the most blessed. ‘You are the most lucky to have found the Castle of Americana for growing up. He belongs to the One Percent Club and you have a head start on all other youths of your generation.
Pangloss was professor of metaphysico-theologico-cosmolo-nigology. He proved admirably that there is no effect without a cause, and that, in this best of all possible worlds, the Banker’s castle was the most magnificent of castles.
“It is demonstrable,” said he, “that things cannot be otherwise than as they are; for all being created for an end, all is necessarily for the best end. Observe, that the nose has been formed to bear spectacles—thus we have spectacles’. Mind you, do not dismiss your guardians wealth is a cause.
“So do I spend it all, Dr. Pangloss, so we honor the cause -effect?
For Dr. Pangloss it sounded reasonable since money was the cause for all misery for 99 Percent Muppets.
(To be continued)