Archive for March 17th, 2019

Cosmic Hole In A Donut

‘I know where you can get the best donut in town.’ My friend who had come visiting took me on and we left our wives to their shopping and we came out and I led him to a small lane where not much really happened except a straggling knot of men to which we silently joined. A hole in a wall where nothing by way of a menu in display, but a notice scrawled on the wall:
Berliner/Donut for one euro.
When our turn came I made the order. I knew my friend’s incredulous stare behind me as I collected donut for two and held out his share. Silently we sampled our treat, his deferential treatment of his fare was a nod. Of course he was pleased. As we walked to join our spouses in their shopping spree I said, “It is the only time a cosmic hole made sense to me.”
“Knowing you as I do you shall make a story as well, Right?”
I said, yes- more determined to keep my reputation as a story-teller in tact. We both had silently regressed into our school days and I was in form. I said,
“When Brahma first got an elephant He took Vishnu and Siva along The Elephant was docile and knew exactly what was expected of him. Vishnu the preserver said, “Oh creator God, excellent idea!” But as days went by the elephant let out heaps of turd and somewhere along a dung beetle got in and would not go. Faster the animal walked the beetle shrieked and shrieked. Brahma said, “The animal is a bit nervous, never mind.” Siva the destroyer asked in irritation, You create a beast and now the beetle is loath to let go all that shit.” The other two gods held silence. Shiva asked, “With permission I will put an end this instant.” Vishnu sad, Oh please, no,” Siva in high dudgeon said, “Either he gets his wish or I lose my head.” Brahma asked Siva to let off his steam a little.
Shiva opened his third eye and in next instant the heap of turd was vaporized! Vishnu a picture of woe looked about and the beetle was no more to be seen. Rest of the trip the trimurti were silent. At one place they broke journey and tying the elephant to a tree each went to attend to his business but when they came back the animal was no more to be seen. Brahma in a dither asked other gods where he had tethered the animal. Shiva silently held out a seed and said, “Just watch this”. Yes immediately the disembodied trunk of the beast took the seed and swallowed it..
Nothing happened. Next moment a gargantuan fart of the elephant. A Big Bang it was. With so much energy going free the tree glowed and before their eyes growing out many universes and in front of it stood the elephant!
Was Brahma delighted? Oh boy he got on the back and would have rode along but a shriek at which all the three gods looked in alarm. There was the dead dung beetle alive and in a shriek, “You brought me back to life alright, No thanks you will get from me!” This was followed with a shriek like a pneumatic drill going on a rampage,” But where is my dung?
When we joined our wives we were our sober selves, and going back in time an aberration not worth mentioning.
And I had a bite into the comic hole in every donut. That was different.
The End

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