Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

A town mouse went to the country since he had not seen much of it. All that reminded him of it were the folks who were in a tearing hurry to escape it. All the church mouses he met were sure the churches back in the country were packed with backbiters. The door-mouses pouring into the town through the drains said they could not keep a doormat let alone their door for the hurricane took all. Daddy-O the dandy about town was sure he lived in a town that never had seen a tax-collector to give an opinion.
On arriving in a hick town he accosted the first mouse and after exchanging pleasantries said, ‘What do you for entertaining?’
We stalk whatever?’
‘Stalking,Freddo?” the town mouse was taken back,’ Back in town stalking is illegal. But a town mouse is above law.’ It was the turn of the country mouse to drop his jaw.’But stalks come flying and land on our doorstep. So a hurricane elsewhere is our feast day.’It was then Daddy-o realized the mouses spoke the same lingo but what it meant was neither here nor there.” The town mouse said,” You drop everything and come with me.”
The country mouse followed Daddy-O and it was like a descent into Dante’s inferno. Everywhere pigs had set up barriers and were trying pot luck at anything moving. At one place Daddy-O was being chased by a drove of pigs. Around an intersection he was caught by one pig who frisked him and asked,” Where have you stashed moon rocks?”
Daddy-o winked at the country mouse as if to give him a study into urban semantics,
” Psst, he means meth.”
‘What is your speed?
Daddy who had taken a liking to his ward said,” I am going to get his goat. Watch now”
Daddy-O lifted his foot and stepped hard on the trotter. The pig squealed and in response some 20 pigs sent peashooters flying at the two.
Freddo the country mouse screamed,” You brought me to hell, man!”
Daddy-O laughed hard and said, “This is my kind of town, Ferguson, Missouri!”

benny

Read Full Post »

If you can lie and cheat and buy happiness

Tell me son, I will go in business

And treat you equal and split half and half:

My happiness your weal- and my riches

What I cannot carry with me for you

To possess and hold, Isn’t that rich?

We shall have our laugh at those who cavil

That money never bought happiness.

benny

Original Version:

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:….

 

 

Read Full Post »

Once I had such a beautiful coat. Trouble was whenever I put it on, no one saw me. If I reminded them ‘I am here’ the answer was,’Clothes make a man. no more is needed.’

2.

During the days of great Depression I tried to live as grandly as I could to fight its effect on me. My wallet was a gold mine but depression being such my hands could not reach it. My foot was stuck above it, you see.’

3.

I wanted to paint the ceiling as Michaelangelo would have done. But already some one had been at it what with clouds so life-like. I did not have the heart to paint and instead began drawing cheques.

4.

Have I told the time when I went to the heart of Africa? Once after an arduous travel I thought I would wash my dirt away. While I got into a big cauldron for the purpose, instantly came the bushmen from Kalahari and thereabouts, whooping in making a song and dance about me.  I asked my guide what was that for and he says, ” Bush meat and and you are in it.”

5.

There are two ways for a barefoot doctor to handle a banana in an African Jungle: give the banana to the silver back and slip on its peel yourself. ‘Have banana will travel as the bushmen say.’ The other way is to eat the banana and give the peel to the silver back. No one has lived to tell how does it taste.

6.

I had an uncle of lamentable memory who was good at standing up any one who had an appointment with him. When finally death came up my late uncle said,’Cant you knock before you come in?’ That is why I am here for and death gave a knock out that he would never remember.

benny

Read Full Post »

Mulla one morning came across an ice-vendor who said, ’Nasruddin, here is the father of all ice. Straight from the mountain.’

‘Give me his son.’ He took a chunk in his box and said ‘hush lil baby I’m gonna eat you.’ Paying the vendor he walked off.

He went to Hamam. After a steam bath he felt thirsty. Under the shade of a tree he sat. ‘It is time I heard some baby-talk.’ He opened the box and poured the water down his throat,’gurgle, gurgle.’

With satisfaction he stood up to tell the standers-by, ‘I knew his grand father.’

They laughed indicating the mulla was a bit mad.

Then came hailstones and Mulla lifted his eyes to ask,’ Does your grandfather let you play outside at all hours?’

benny

Read Full Post »

A Second Look at Pictures: Frisbee Anyone?

Ariadne: “Watch out! I nearly got hit!”

Read Full Post »

Mr.Know –it- all one of the party at a feast told Mulla Nasruddin,’This pilaf is made from the finest rice and clarified butter.’

Mulla held his hand up as he went on and on, ’No use telling my ear,’

Nasruddin said after wiping his mouth,’while my tongue is at work.’  

benny

Read Full Post »

A Change of Scene

Mulla Nasruddin after the period of mourning on the death of his wife wanted a change of scene. He visited some shrines of saints and came to know two merchant princes and each wanted Mulla to accompany him as his guest. He liked both but one lived in the direction of Peshawar while the other in Ajmir.

Mulla Nasruddin asked the one from Peshawar, ‘Do you recommend any saint in your parts who will let me talk to the dead?’

The merchant from Peshawar threw up his hands helplessly. The merchant from Ajmir laughed and said, ‘I know two saints still living who will let you talk to the dead. ’

Mulla apologized to the one from Peshawar for having to choose the hospitality of the merchant from Ajmir.’ I shall surely look you up just in case if I am not helped.’

 Sure enough Mulla was soon calling on the merchant at Peshawar and was received warmly by his host. One day scratching his head the merchant asked what was that he wanted to talk to the dead?’

Mulla answered that he thought of marrying again. He wanted to know if his dead wife minded.

Nasruddin said, ‘ In Ajmir she minded and she was quite cut up about it.’ With a shrug he added, ‘ If I ask her from Peshawar she might change her mind, who knows?’

benny

 

 

 

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts - Older Posts »