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Archive for the ‘humor’ Category

Once I had such a beautiful coat. Trouble was whenever I put it on, no one saw me. If I reminded them ‘I am here’ the answer was,’Clothes make a man. no more is needed.’

2.

During the days of great Depression I tried to live as grandly as I could to fight its effect on me. My wallet was a gold mine but depression being such my hands could not reach it. My foot was stuck above it, you see.’

3.

I wanted to paint the ceiling as Michaelangelo would have done. But already some one had been at it what with clouds so life-like. I did not have the heart to paint and instead began drawing cheques.

4.

Have I told the time when I went to the heart of Africa? Once after an arduous travel I thought I would wash my dirt away. While I got into a big cauldron for the purpose, instantly came the bushmen from Kalahari and thereabouts, whooping in making a song and dance about me.  I asked my guide what was that for and he says, ” Bush meat and and you are in it.”

5.

There are two ways for a barefoot doctor to handle a banana in an African Jungle: give the banana to the silver back and slip on its peel yourself. ‘Have banana will travel as the bushmen say.’ The other way is to eat the banana and give the peel to the silver back. No one has lived to tell how does it taste.

6.

I had an uncle of lamentable memory who was good at standing up any one who had an appointment with him. When finally death came up my late uncle said,’Cant you knock before you come in?’ That is why I am here for and death gave a knock out that he would never remember.

benny

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Mulla one morning came across an ice-vendor who said, ’Nasruddin, here is the father of all ice. Straight from the mountain.’

‘Give me his son.’ He took a chunk in his box and said ‘hush lil baby I’m gonna eat you.’ Paying the vendor he walked off.

He went to Hamam. After a steam bath he felt thirsty. Under the shade of a tree he sat. ‘It is time I heard some baby-talk.’ He opened the box and poured the water down his throat,’gurgle, gurgle.’

With satisfaction he stood up to tell the standers-by, ‘I knew his grand father.’

They laughed indicating the mulla was a bit mad.

Then came hailstones and Mulla lifted his eyes to ask,’ Does your grandfather let you play outside at all hours?’

benny

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A Second Look at Pictures: Frisbee Anyone?

Ariadne: “Watch out! I nearly got hit!”

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Mr.Know –it- all one of the party at a feast told Mulla Nasruddin,’This pilaf is made from the finest rice and clarified butter.’

Mulla held his hand up as he went on and on, ’No use telling my ear,’

Nasruddin said after wiping his mouth,’while my tongue is at work.’  

benny

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A Change of Scene

Mulla Nasruddin after the period of mourning on the death of his wife wanted a change of scene. He visited some shrines of saints and came to know two merchant princes and each wanted Mulla to accompany him as his guest. He liked both but one lived in the direction of Peshawar while the other in Ajmir.

Mulla Nasruddin asked the one from Peshawar, ‘Do you recommend any saint in your parts who will let me talk to the dead?’

The merchant from Peshawar threw up his hands helplessly. The merchant from Ajmir laughed and said, ‘I know two saints still living who will let you talk to the dead. ’

Mulla apologized to the one from Peshawar for having to choose the hospitality of the merchant from Ajmir.’ I shall surely look you up just in case if I am not helped.’

 Sure enough Mulla was soon calling on the merchant at Peshawar and was received warmly by his host. One day scratching his head the merchant asked what was that he wanted to talk to the dead?’

Mulla answered that he thought of marrying again. He wanted to know if his dead wife minded.

Nasruddin said, ‘ In Ajmir she minded and she was quite cut up about it.’ With a shrug he added, ‘ If I ask her from Peshawar she might change her mind, who knows?’

benny

 

 

 

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When two Lawyers Meet- H. Daumier

A: ” Sent anyone to Guillotine lately?

caption is mine-b

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I read science as though it is fiction; fiction must then satisfy somewhere deep down science of living.

When I read Bernie Madoff got his comeuppance it did not make my loss good but felt my moral sense was somewhat straightened out.

That is what I call Spooky Science of Soul.

 

2.

if two black holes were entangled, and then separated from one another, the result, would be a wormhole connecting them.

A fool and his money part company soon. Is there a wormhole connecting the two? Madoff would say it is 150 years long.

 

3.

The other night Daddy Long-legs III  and I over supper heard a jingle,- an unpardonable travesty of la donna e mobile; and it has burrowed into old goat. ‘He says only when he goes from one fickle mistress to another is an adventure. He says it makes him come alive’. But what I am doing here? I guess I am entangled with him.

I heard Rigoletto later in the night. Funny I cannot pin the music down. Instead I am only hearing the jingle.

I got entangled with some bad jingle and my taste for music as far as La donna e mobile is concerned is killed.

4. In a consumer society art is pushed as though the peddlers of bling- bling are culture conscious. In effect they poison the fine art of living. Life of the senses, of the soul are replaced by bad art. Culture vultures pick your wallet and also spoil your taste for good music.

benny

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