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Archive for the ‘parodies’ Category

Little Lamb, I fancy
A rack o’ lamb come easy
If I had my way with you.
Little Lamb I’ll tell thee,
 Little Lamb I’ll tell thee
You are on today’s menu.
‘A little lamb  you provide,’
Says my chef,  ‘on my side
carré d’agneau is sure thing:
Gave thee life & bid thee feed.
By the stream & o’er the mead;
Fail me now you shall howl,’
I dread him and his blackest scowl.
Little Lamb I’ll tell thee,
 Little Lamb I’ll tell thee!
We have herbs and fresh garlic
You shall in slop of grease frolic
Think how we shall chomp and gnaw-
Ah you already drool, Enough for now.
Softest clothing wooly bright,
Making vales resound with bleat
Little lamb, you I will carry
The rest as I said is easy.
Benny
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It’s Dog’s Life ©

Not that I travell’d in my flesh and blood
And hobbled along lanes for holy grail
long asleep beneath cobwebs spun of old,-
When Charlemagne girt with sword sat enthron’d
While knights in armor set out for honor,-
Saracens fell left and right, and at cut price,
Silver or solder, junk all thrown pellmell
In some Turk’s jumble sale dispersed.
Yet my quest was in some curious twist
A tale- and it mov’d my frame entire:
I found a dachshund long, and cuddly to boot
And a pug ugly, dash it, with a short snout.
One it had to be, and chose I, my dachshund.
Benny
Original
Much have I travell’d in the realms of gold,
And many goodly states and kingdoms seen;
Round many western islands have I been
Which bards in fealty to Apollo hold.
Oft of one wide expanse had I been told
That deep-brow’d Homer ruled as his demesne;
Yet did I never breathe its pure serene
Till I heard Chapman speak out loud and bold:
Then felt I like some watcher of the skies
When a new planet swims into his ken;
Or like stout Cortez when with eagle eyes
He star’d at the Pacific—and all his men
Look’d at each other with a wild surmise—
Silent, upon a peak in Darien.

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When love with uncommon force

Demands complete surrender

Old Age must an idea perforce

Lose domain it had before;

Years bind such outward sinews

Of Time as Autumn limns the eye:

Seasons like ages fall to disuse

And with Spring proves a lie.

 

Stone walls do not a prison make

Nor what lies an Age tells

I cannot with good sense take

When Love made me break the walls-

Bonds of my nine month ordeal,

I shall no wise exchange for another

Though be cast in gold and silver, a deal

Fit for dumb and the stupid in hell.

Benny
Original

To Althea from prison by Richard Lovelace,1642

When love with unconfined wings
Hovers within my gates,
And my divine Althea brings
To whisper at the grates;
When I lie tangled in her hair
And fettered to her eye,
The gods that wanton in the air
Know no such liberty.

When flowing cups run swiftly round,
With no allaying Thames,
Our careless heads with roses bound,
Our hearts with loyal flames;
When thirsty grief in wine we steep,
When healths and draughts go free,
Fishes that tipple in the deep
Know no such liberty.

When like committed linnets I
With shriller throat shall sing
The sweetness, mercy, majesty,
And glories of my King:
When I shall voice aloud how good
He is, how great should be,
Enlarged winds, that curl the flood,
Know no such liberty.

Stone walls do not a prison make,
Nor iron bars a cage:
Minds innocent and quiet take
That for an hermitage.
If I have freedom in my love,
And in my soul am free,
Angels alone, that soar above,
Enjoy such liberty.

 

 

 

 

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I don’t want a lot for Christmas
Peace in my heart, let it burn:
I don’t care about the presents,-
You need not shout HoHo please,
You kill what glow I let blaze
With fake news a new normal
All your false cheer in tears end:
All I want for Christmas is peace
I don’t want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need, and I
Don’t think you can drop in one
Day of the year and say all
Is well, Ho Ho peace on earth.
 Benny

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A Draft Dodger’s Song
The war gets too scary, for my fears are real, (I will not serve)
I have got excuse, for my bone spur foolproof
I never bother with duty that I hate
That is why I am still alive
I  cannot walk miles what with blacks and kikes,
Vi-et-nam theatre is too bloody for me
Like  many other who hate what I hate:
That is why I am still alive.
McCaine likes to be hero, so army makes sense.
Wont serve the cause , but salute the flag
And I definitely won’t fire or crawl with the rest of cadets (Thank-you)
That’s why I am still alive
benny
(original)
the lady is a tramp
She gets too hungry, for dinner at eight (I am starving)
She loves the theater, but she never comes late
I never bother, with people that I hate
That’s why this chick is a tramp
She doesn’t like crap games, with barons and earls
Won’t go to Harlem, in ermines and pearls
And I definitely won’t dish out dirt, with the rest of those girls (Thank-you)
That’s why the lady is a tramp
I love the free, fresh wind in my hair
Life without care, oh I’m so broke, it’s old
I hate California, it’s crowded and damp
That’s why the lady is a tramp (I am a tramp)

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Everybody, ol’ Nick’s in town

He’s got a scythe and a bag that doesn’t say much:

Well, let the good times roll, let the good times roll
I don’t care if you’re young or old

Mown together let the Grim Reepah

Have some fun on the side!

Get together, let the good time roll

Well, it aint buddy it is a quaint thing to do

While jiving and rollin’ Nick let him go,go, go

And let the good times roll, let the good times roll
I don’t care if you’re young or old

Mown together let the Grim Reepah

Have some fun too.

 

Well, I like a little coffee and I like a little tea
But stir-it, spike it Ol-Nick’s brew is the thing for me
And let the good times roll, let the good times roll
I don’t care if you’re young or old
Get together, let the good time roll

Yeah!

Alright now let’s go!
Let it roll, let it roll, all night long
Let it roll, let it roll, all night long
Let it roll, let it roll, all night long
Let it roll, let it roll, all night long
I don’t care if you’re young or old
Get together, let the good time roll
Now let’s go!
Let it roll, let it roll, all night long

benny

(Ack: Jerry Lee Lewis lyrics)

 

 

 

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Oh when the nukes /go dropping in

Oh when the nukes /go dropping in

Lord I want to be elsewhere, oh please

When the missiles go overhead

Oh then go shrieks! Fake news non stop

Oh then go shrieks! Fake news non stop

Oh, when the stars fall from the sky

Oh, when the stars fall from the sky

Ah-la-ba-ma to Al-ber-tah

Is his-to-ry-Aint it sad?

Oh, when the moon turns red with blood

Oh, when the moon turns red with blood

Lord I want to fly home by you

Oh when the fools rip the world apart

I want to lay my head and sleep!

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