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Archive for the ‘the Bard’ Category

‘Bama

ACT I

SCENE I. The White House. The Rose Garden

FRANCISCO at his post. Enter to him BERNARDO

BERNARDO

Who’s there?

FRANCISCO

Nay, answer me: were you on watch yesterday?

BERNARDO

Long live the Prez!

FRANCISCO

Bernardo?

BERNARDO

He.

FRANCISCO

You almost got yourself screwed up.

BERNARDO

‘Tis now struck twelve; no intruder, Francisco.

FRANCISCO

For this relief much thanks: ’tis bitter cold,

And I am sick at heart.

BERNARDO

Have you had quiet guard?

FRANCISCO

Not a mouse stirring.

BERNARDO

Well, good night.

If you do meet Horatio and Marcellus,

The rivals of my watch, bid them make haste.

FRANCISCO

I think I hear them. Stand, ho! Who’s there?

Enter HORATIO and MARCELLUS

HORATIO

Friends to this ground.

MARCELLUS

And liegemen to the Prez.

FRANCISCO

Give you good night.

MARCELLUS

O, farewell, honest soldier:

Who hath relieved you?

FRANCISCO

Bernardo has my place.

Give you good night.

Exit

MARCELLUS

Holla! Bernardo!

BERNARDO

Say,

What, is Horatio there?

HORATIO

A piece of him.

BERNARDO

Welcome, Horatio: welcome, good Marcellus.

MARCELLUS

What, has this thing appear’d again to-night?

BERNARDO

I have seen nothing.

HORATIO

Well, sit we down,

And let us hear Bernardo speak of this.

BERNARDO

Last night of all,

He scal’d the north fence of the House, Yes he

Did not cease though I did ask his steps freeze

And raise hands in abject surrender wait

For frisk and search,-

Enter Ghost

MARCELLUS

Peace, break thee off; look, where it comes again!

BERNARDO

In the same figure, like Andrew Jackson.

MARCELLUS

Thou art a scholar; speak to it, Horatio.

BERNARDO

Looks it not like A J? mark it, Horatio.

HORATIO

Most like: I must speak less scholarly then .

BERNARDO

It would be spoke to.

MARCELLUS

Question it, Horatio.

HORATIO

What art thou that usurp’st this time of night,

Together with that fair and warlike form

By which the native Indians were struck dumb

And that threw the Bankers on the east

in apoplectic rage, speak!

MARCELLUS

It is offended.

BERNARDO

See, it stalks away!

HORATIO

Stay! speak, speak! I charge thee, speak!

Exit Ghost and Renters

Here is a tip worth two cents,

Fellow Americans and leige men

to your Chief, name of the intruder

Is Omar Gonzalez.

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