Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘humor’

My Getaway Story

As soon as I learned my 3Rs I planned my escape and meticulously chose the island villa and every artifact  to make my retirement, an ultimate guide to the purveyors of Good Taste. A decade went into making an inventory of Matisse, Goya and great masters that would be catalogued and displayed in the Salon where High Art was so well represented made even a Tate feel outclassed. On the day I turned seventy it was time for the works. “Presto! Let the good times roll said, I” so did my wife and my brood.  Only snag was that my supposedly kaboodle of billions in bonds, stocks, life annuities and what have you would show to give my last phase its gloss. Ah then all I need say was, “open sesame.” But my several portfolios never got disentangled from Internal Revenue service and all bullion and precious metals did not come detached from the ground. My wealth after leapfrogging several Black Tuesdays and down turns from Macau to Wall Street developed some aneurysm. It was a bubble and  it burst. My villa with it.

Benny

 

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

The Wow-Wow Tales is a collection of tales, 84 of them, quite a number of them new and never published before makes this very special for me. There are some 41 illustrations also made for this edition. Pages: 228

The paperback version is released through createspace.com.

There are two editions one is in black and white. The Plain Wow-Wow Tales is priced at $16 and the one with color and b&w illustrations at $46.

I shall give an excerpt from the Introduction:

When elephants gather it is news. That was how with Wow-Wow, the elephant.

Wherever he went he was in the news. As a baby he strayed from his herd and it made news. Now he was back some hundred years old if not more, he still wowed them.

Coming home was not so much as telling all the stories he knew.

So when the Mayor Oddlegs, after introduction cleared the field for him he began, ‘I have so much to tell but I shall begin with two friends who are not here.’

While his audience stirred he said, ‘In Bolivia, I think it was, a parrot became my boon companion. Except that he wasn’t there whenever I wanted to make a conversation.’ A hubbub. The elephants did not care much for asides. ‘Come to the point, Wow-Wow’, said they all.

‘The parrot was not seen but he heard just the same. In fact he retold all my stories verbatim. Now memory is not what it was. If it weren’t for his knack I would not have known how to amuse you.’

‘Then there was a mouse, the like of which you shall never see, and he could chew into anything or make holes. Whenever I laid my hand on my cheese I knew my friend was already at it.’ Wow-Wow chuckled at this point. ‘While I was in service of the King of Siam, the royal treasury was soon emptied. The king looked high and he looked low. What did he see? My friend the mouse had made a hole in the royal chest and decamped with the goods. Oh that was nasty! I got the blame. When the charges were read to me I went white. Literally! I lost my position but found direction in life. I am home.’

The elephants at the point trumpeted their satisfaction. The Mayor said in appreciation, ‘You came back anyway, white or not’. The herd would have tittered more but the volcano in the background belched. It didn’t do any damage except in the sound and fury of an eruption. Before the startled elephants a parrot flew in. Wow-Wow was delighted. ‘At last you are seen.’

His former companion equally delighted to add, ‘And I heard you out there.’ A squeak, and there was his other companion! The beasts looked at the sorry looking mouse. His whiskers were gone and his tail still smouldering. Oh he looked terrible! He jumped into the arms of Wow-Wow. He said, ‘Don’t speak! You are looking at a friend who made a hole through a hill with the mightiest bellyache. I walked o’er hot coals for you.’ The scamp squeaked, ‘What are friends for!’

Wow-Wow felt his life was coming to him. He had his friends back. Now he could tell all…”

Benny

 

Read Full Post »

Mother Wimple-Head ©

 

Sorry it is removed. Continue reading it in the Wow-Wow Tales-b

Read Full Post »

BHcover-design

Was his encounter with the great white shark and escape by some design or by sheer luck? On such a question hangs the Horrible History of the Captain Black Hand.

It is a horrible story though. It is being published as paper back.

Description:

Young Murtius was a child of his times. At a time Old Spain and Portugal and England were plundering the Americas and called it the Great Battle of Wits he became a pirate. Awed by so much wealth he exclaimed, “I have needs therefore I exist.” Philosopher Descartes could not have summed it more succinctly. Only after he said ‘yea’ to free enterprise did he realize the Big Powers were dead earnest to string him up from the nearest yardarm.  He was a pirate with a price on his head!There was no going back. He took on the name Captain Black Hand with a ship and pirates ready to undertake any mission to stay afloat.

Eleven adventures are described with humor and verve of a pirate whose single misstep would have put an end to his game. Having made two enemies at the beginning of his career these adventures keep the reader engaged with their cat and mouse game into which a love-interest is also introduced to keep the suspense taut: does his phenomenal luck work same magic with love of his life?

The pirate makes appearance in two other books.

Q-bitz is a pen name and refers to the author’s interest in science. In the world of letters his forte is laws of levity, not related by any chance to the laws of Newton on gravity.

pages:272

Read Full Post »

The Finnish word sisu has many shades of meaning in English. Grit, perseverance and resilience are all shades of meaning but do any of it touch the nerve of being? Alas, no. Such are words and let me see what it means to you and me. It is to see your wallet bare and that takes grit to tighten the belt and cancel the grocery list for the week. You preserve in your indigence and there comes a time when your deprivation has smoothed the dog-ears of want and you can even a joke at ‘being too much in a want to want anything particularly’. It is in extremis. But that will do nicely. Ah then you have learnt the word ‘sisu’ for the kingdom come. Adios amigos! (Ack: Tim Lomas Positive Lexicography Project)

Read Full Post »

Out In A Flash

“Rain was a story God telling but the man in umbrella kept interrupting.

The Lake did not take to traveling but the Hydro-electric Company made it to work

I love River Seine but it is n’t saying much.

A river comes with two banks. You can take either if you are clue less. River has been asking the age old question: Is the sea coming to me or am I returning a favor?”

By one who isn’t particular about doing anything today

Read Full Post »

img_3464“As far he is concerned ‘International Women’s Year’ is over.”

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »