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Posts Tagged ‘parodies’

Since we had you PO-TUS
We see life as a game:
Where it was fun once
My whole life has changed
All my friends either white
Or black, not the same;
Let me tell you
Since we had you PO-TUS,
Lies you daily feed-
Fixed the game already?

I’m gonna try and fix this
In every way that I can,
Let me tell you

I don’t need no fake news
Or games to wish away,
So you can hang on there
For ‘nother four years.

Since we had you PO-TUS
We lost it all for you!
Your lies don’t feed us
My whole life has changed:

All we have present, bah!
To say the least sucks.
Let me tell you
Since we had you PO-TUS,
What greatness you speak
Is our cryin’ shame!

 

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The sun was shining on the sea,

That was what he thought first:

He did his very best to make

The billows smooth and bright —

But try as might his adze did not

What he would have on wood.

 

‘The moonshine has got me down

Land or sea, adze is adze

In my hand drunk or not, it must work’,

While the walrus cried, ’My tusk

Is what requires your adze, leave

The sea to its merry ways.”

 

The sea was wet as wet could be,

And the tusk split asunder.

The man with adze looked dazed,

‘Out of it root Not with my adze, Miss

What you need is this briny sea,

Chop chop the waves may yet,-Try it.

Benny

Original by Louis Carroll

“The sun was shining on the sea,
      Shining with all his might:
He did his very best to make
      The billows smooth and bright —
And this was odd, because it was
      The middle of the night.
The moon was shining sulkily,
      Because she thought the sun
Had got no business to be there
      After the day was done —
“It’s very rude of him,” she said,
      “To come and spoil the fun.”
The sea was wet as wet could be,
      The sands were dry as dry.
You could not see a cloud, because
      No cloud was in the sky:
No birds were flying overhead —
      There were no birds to fly.
The Walrus and the Carpenter
      Were walking close at hand;
They wept like anything to see
      Such quantities of sand:
If this were only cleared away,’
      They said, it would be grand!’
If seven maids with seven mops
      Swept it for half a year,
Do you suppose,’ the Walrus said,
      That they could get it clear?’
I doubt it,’ said the Carpenter,
      And shed a bitter tear.

 

 

 

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Alternate Facts ©

Hey Dude, wasn’t it bad?

Take a bad stance with news that bites deep;

Remember to shape it into what sounds

Almost true: you can do one better-

Hey dude, hurt is not hurt,

Leave that apart and make it fake news:

Remember no news is so true as it sounds
So you can start play with dem facts

Hey dude, photoshopping
With verve, make it stick,- crop it and paste!
The minute you have made white look black
Add your caption to make it better
Remember you cant spell right to let bad news
Get your goat! You are one helluva artist

Hey dude, don’t be afraid
You were made to make news so splash it….

benny

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My Tonsorial Musings ©

 

Imagine there’s no shavin’

It is easy if we let

No blade to hurt us;

Below nose only hair

Imagine sir,my goatee growing downwards!

Imagine there’s no saloons

It isn’t hard to do-
Barbers can take something else

Hirstute or not, they can dye

Hair,- frizz it, wave or curl!

Imagine all the people living in salons, you

You may say I’m a dreamer

But what dreams may come colour
me red,- some day you’ll understand
And the world will be all fair

Imagine no more split ends
I wonder birds nest in peace
In a beard full fathom five!

My follicles all-in health

No more wringing of hands, sir
Imagine all the birds on perch trilling, you

You may say I’m a dreamer

But what dreams may come colour
me red,- some day you’ll understand
And the world will be all fair.

(Ack: downtown music publishing)

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Cincinnatti Blues ©

 

She is watching by her high fence,

Harambe, with deep, deep blue eyes

She is sporting a tinted glass, all blue:

‘Keep a big ape, have free laff

It brings gawks who will pay your bill’.

Cincinnati! Cincinnatti!

How is it, that you let go

Harambe poor big ape?

 

Apes aren’t common as fruits on flatfeet:

Cops are apt to play to the crowd

Than see who is on the right;

Cincinnati! Cincinnatti!

How is it, that you let go

Harambe poor big ape?

No small thanks you let her keep the goggle

A fair exchange for the lead that tore her heart!

benny

Note: Harambe is a male gorilla but could his life have been saved? Life is a life; Gorilla is a gorilla but the million dollar question is this: is life of gorilla of less value than divisive vituperative enemy to peace, Trump?  The gawks who scream to high heavens now want the poor mother lose her job! What hypocrisy!

A four year kid as usual is the case, knows how to strike for freedom, escaping the tight leash of his parent; This freedom in this case brought into a close encounter with a Gorilla in its cramped confines of the zoo.  All would have ended well if the crowd  behaved well. They wanted their money worth of excitement, and is as much culprit as the officer who took him down with a single bullet. The bystanders sent gentle Harambe in panic. How come nobody thinks he or she is equally at fault?-b

 

 

 

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Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow

Creeps while this default earn penal interest!

To the last syllable of recorded time

My name shall ill-spoken be: a spendthrift’s fate;

Do I walk debtor’s path or pay up head high

Or pledge my walking shadow to creditors

All sundry,- and nod in surrender?

Life is an idiot who holds the cash-box

Signifying nothing

For those who live to spend spend, spend.

Original version

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,

To the last syllable of recorded time;

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,

And then is heard no more. It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.

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Chorus:

Oh the weather outside is weirder

And rain in May no more harder

Than hailstones pelting Boom Boom!

Let it Boom,Let it Boom Let it Boom

i.

It doesn’t show signs of stopping

But we sure gotta do some shovelling:

If the roof comes down Oh yes

Say Vaya Con Dios, Amigos ( Chorus)

ii

Back in Mexico Sun o’erhead-

How do I miss that ciuadad!

We are all legal immigrants

It’s no use, it’s no use, it’s no use (Chorus)

iii

The booze is slowly dryin’

Amigos, we’re still cryin’

If the roof comes down Oh yes

Say Vaya Con Dios, Amigos ( Chorus)

Let It Snow

Oh the weather outside is frightful, 

But the fire is so delightful,

And since we’ve no place to go,

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It doesn’t show signs of stopping,

And I’ve bought some corn for popping,

The lights are turned way down low,

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

When we finally kiss goodnight,

How I’ll hate going out in the storm!

But if you’ll really hold me tight,

All the way home I’ll be warm.

The fire is slowly dying,

And, my dear, we’re still good-bying,

But as long as you love me so,

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

(Lyrics and music by Sammy Kahn and Jule Styne)

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Well, hit or miss, what! Are we in the red
Like Lehman Brothers?-the world has gone mad.
Let Banks cry, “Foreclose!” as they please
Money is all that need not lose its head.
(#8 in the Second ed.)
benny

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Parodies based on Edward Fitzgerald version:
2.

Seeking yet old thrill,-it begins anew
I heard a cry within, ‘Snort or go bust!’
‘Yeah with a monkey on my back a fix
Will give my world its center: I am at rest !

3.
A quick bite on the run to my workplace
Will keep me for the day in this rat race:
You do know how to get on without sweat?
Backbite or kiss the ass to save the face. (#2 and 3 from First Ed.)

#12

Here with a kindle O, beneath the Sun
A word or two from my love,-it is fun
If she had her Kindle too; Had Khayyam
lived now would he check out from Amazon?

(Fifth Ed.)
benny

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