*To me the hardest part of being a professional footballer is to go after the pigskin. I am a practising Jew.
*Being a hermaphrodite like Hertz I have to try harder: both long and short distances.
*Usain Bolt became what he was, since he was born he was figuring out his nuts from bolts.
*My tennis elbow is so pronounced that my double backhand is unprintable.
*I can beat Kim Clijsters any day; she can only make points after her delivery
whereas I can make points while changing diapers.