Posts Tagged ‘vampire’

Parody on the Balcony Scene Act 2sc.ii-

But soft what light through yonder window breaks…

Medusa! your hair is all a-tumble, Fie!

Had you wash’d and tied your hair as before

My love would have grown wings at mere mention

Of your name and fallen at feet, a fool

Faint for love,- Oh Medusa strange is your head

(More terror I have never felt till now -)

How strange that your tresses breathe pestilence,

Are they horrid vipers dining on lice?

Tell me but wait! I feel, Oh something strange

Your eyes pierce with their laser points

And it is not honey your serpent tongue drips:

Ay me! With venom ting’d I’m all aflutter

My heart winds down and the throat closes in.

I am not a fool for love Oh Medusa

I am stone dead and am consign’d to hellfire!

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The Liars Club ©

One morning I woke up startled. Normally nothing short of a suicide bomber exploding him right on my face could make me nervous. What startled me was very mundane and I could have gone on my sleep had I a yen for it. You see my dream was asleep in my four-poster bed while I had my shuteye in the gazebo. Some must have a nightcap or count sheep but sleep under an open sky is de rigueur for me. Whenever the night is warm and stars are all out in the inky darkness above I sleep soundly without distraction. Dreams are the distraction whether they choose my bed or my head.
That morning my dreams like newspapers piled up by milk bottles not yet cleared startled me to put it mildly. My esteemed Members of the Club to which I aspire to be a part may naturally wonder, ‘Do I sleep?’
Some sleep like a log but must find a fetal position or curl around like a hound. No it is not for me and I sleep on my feet. As I feel magnetic lines zapping right through my crown to my soles I know my sleep shall be sweet. No dream can match my neon blue sleep what with my hair all up and muscles in a twitch. Wish fulfillment of dreams cannot quite match the pleasure I derive therein. Stars may fall in Alabama but sleep on my feet get me touch the stratosphere during my REM phase. Who needs dreams, I ask you.

Of course in my adolescent years when wet behind my ears to make any cap a shapeless wet rag I used to sleep like a bat from the tree house in my yard much to my dad’s annoyance. But then he understood the vampire was much to blame and he let me sleep anywhere even in the doghouse. But owing to my regards for Fido who never could have a shuteye with me around, I slept in the barn where my sleeping companions were much too dumb to wonder what I was doing from the rafters in the first place.
Well to cut short my request to the distinguished Club for allowing my company I also vouch that I do not snore or fidget while I catch forty winks. My sleep is bound to give no offense whatsoever to any distinguished member who may be catching his sleep of the just beneath the freshly pressed pages of his morning paper larded with gory details of murder and mayhem. Among my peers I am content to peruse the funnies while I rest my gray cells and my ivories. Lastly but not the least my fangs have never sought for the jugular of the dead. I am willing to abide by the rules and regulations of the Club scrupulously to the letter.
Yours faithfully
Chas. ‘Dracula’ Beddoes
Reply to the application came back and the letter carried only a line. ‘The request has been blackballed by the undersigned and refused with utmost regret that the Club cannot entertain a request from a living aspirant.’
Yours truly
Frank Stein, Hon. secretary of the Liars Club.
The name rang a bell and I knew the man who signed the letter. On the tenth grade he was my first victim and as a vampire I must admit my only unprofessional job. No wonder he has not quite forgiven me ever since.

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