‘I am a frequent flier. If I get to the airport I am asked to report at the airlines office to collect my tickets or alternate travel papers. It becomes such a nuisance that I wonder if the airlines hold some grudge’. I was among the usual bar flies that flitted from one table to the other.On that particular night I had lost my papers, and time as well. So where would I go but to Joe’s Bar?
Invariably the bar fiends all land around me when all their stories become progressively maudlin. I think they all gather there to salt the wounds for which I have taken to drink. No other explanation. The drinking class these days have no malt in their guts. Whenever one starts telling the job he is angling for I quickly down it and leave the glass so he can leave his tears behind. So much unsettled salt around. So once I holler,’Joe, some french fries, unsalted?’
You see if I can’t help it better know which side of my french fry is unsalted.
Another time I was in Spitzhaven, Germany and to my surprise there was a Joe’s Bar and I straightaway headed to it. Seeing a statue of Baron Münchausen seated on a barrel I could not help referencing him. After much beer flowed I said a joke to which a native asked, ‘choke?’
I knew my leiderhausen was not going burst at its seams but we had a language barrier. Luckily I saw some fellow Americans that made me feel at home. They were more than willing to paint the town red but also hear my adventures. Two stories I recollect while beer got the better of my brain.
Like the Baron who lifted himself by his peruke once I lifted myself by my toes. In the hotel room one fine morning stood two brutes on either side one had a bucket full of scalding hot water asking other who had ice cold water,”What will he get? Toss-up?”
I think I lost half my audience at that point. I was not yet finished and there was one still hanging around so I turned all my boozy charm on him.
There was no helping. He was ever laughing to jokes before I began. So to irritate him I began with the punchline. He says,’ go on. I hear it backwards.’
benny
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