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Archive for the ‘fun’ Category

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Taking Shortcuts:

Daddy Oddlegs went to Africa by biplane. In order to save money I had to stand between the two wings as a strut. I got my hair dried but grandpa got speared by bush men who mistook the plane for a bird.

2.

When one speaks of cutting corners I remember how the natives shrunk Daddy Oddlegs. In my house I have a strict policy: no service no money, no cure no fees. No cheap bargain offers for me. It will cost some one down the line dearly.

Ever since the incident at kalahari Daddy calls himself Daddy Long-legs. Oddly enough hyphenated name takes long to pronounce but you have the man by one look.

3.

Crossing the river across the back of a crocodile was a shortcut but grandpa had it long coming. Crocs seem to get a kick out of those who jump the queue to reach the opposite side first.

benny

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‘I am a frequent flier. If I get to the airport I am asked to report at the airlines office to collect my tickets or alternate travel papers. It becomes such a nuisance that I wonder if the airlines hold some grudge’. I was among the usual bar flies that flitted from one table to the other.On that particular night I had lost my papers, and time as well. So where would I go but to Joe’s Bar?
Invariably the bar fiends all land around me when all their stories become progressively maudlin. I think they all gather there to salt the wounds for which I have taken to drink. No other explanation. The drinking class these days have no malt in their guts. Whenever one starts telling the job he is angling for I quickly down it and leave the glass so he can leave his tears behind. So much unsettled salt around. So once I holler,’Joe, some french fries, unsalted?’

You see if I can’t help it better know which side of my french fry is unsalted.

Another time I was in Spitzhaven, Germany and to my surprise there was a Joe’s Bar and I straightaway headed to it. Seeing a statue of Baron Münchausen seated on a barrel I could not help referencing him. After much beer flowed I said a joke to which a native asked, ‘choke?’

I knew my leiderhausen was not going burst at its seams but we had a language barrier. Luckily I saw some fellow Americans that made me feel at home.  They were more than willing to paint the town red but also hear my adventures.  Two stories I recollect while beer got the better of my brain.

Like the Baron who lifted himself by his peruke once I lifted myself by my toes. In the hotel room one fine morning stood two brutes on either side one had a bucket full of scalding hot water asking other who had ice cold water,”What will he get? Toss-up?”

I think I lost half my audience at that point. I was not yet finished and there was one still hanging  around so I turned all my boozy charm on him.

There was no helping. He was ever laughing to jokes before I began. So to  irritate him I began with the punchline. He says,’ go on. I hear it backwards.’

benny

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2012 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

4,329 films were submitted to the 2012 Cannes Film Festival. This blog had 29,000 views in 2012. If each view were a film, this blog would power 7 Film Festivals

Click here to see the complete report.

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Life is one long drawn out trick played on us somewhat like April fool’s joke on and on.

grandaughter: Pake,today is 2 April.

poor old fool: No it is not. Or am I mistaken? (I check the calender to make sure.)

grand daughter triumphantly: April Fool! April Fool!

benny

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