Warts and All-glimpses of Greatness

The title is a popular mis-quote attributed to Oliver Cromwell. The Great Protector of Great Britain was to sit for a portrait by the famous portrait painter of his time, -Peter Lely and he cautioned him thus: ‘Mr.Lely, I desire you would use your skill to paint my picture truly like me and not flatter me at all; but remark all these roughnesses, pimples,warts and everything as you see me,otherwise I will never pay a farthing for it.’ (1675?)
In this series I hope to write foibles and follies of great personages of history. These are not biographical sketches but light and shades that reveal their personal lives. Some of the subjects have been already covered in the Pen-Portraits.

Jean Jacques Rousseau(1712-1778)
Rousseau did not consider he would be able to rear children though he wrote Emile(1762) a classic book on education. His five children born to his wife Therese le Vasseur he delivered to the Paris’ Foundling Hospital. The circumstances under which Rousseau was living may have convinced him he was unfit to be a role model. In his defense it must be said that his own painful experiences must have lent his weight to his apparent heartlessness. Later in his twilight years he tried to explain his actions in his Confessions.
“my error was such that, in handing over my children to the State to educate, for want of means to bring them up myself, in deciding to fit them for becoming workmen and peasants rather than adventurers and fortune-hunters, I thought I was
behaving like a citizen and a father, and considered myself a member of Plato’s Republic. More than once since then, the regrets of my heart have told me that I was wrong: but ,far from my reason having given me the same information, I have often blessed Heaven for having preserved them from their father’s lot.’

benny

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Anecdote-Oscar Wilde

Once a beggar accosted the wit at the Haymarket and made his case stronger by saying he had no bread to eat and had no work to do. ‘Work!,” exclaimed Wilde,”why should you want to work! and bread! why should you eat bread?” He paused and laying his hand on his shoulder he continued in a friendly manner,”now if you had come to me and said you had work to do but you couldn’t dream of working, and that you had bread to eat, but couldn’t think of eating bread I would have given you two shillings and six pence.” A pause.” As it is, I give you half-a-crown.”

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Molotov on Stalin

Molotov told de Gaulle that he once stood behind Stalin who believed himself alone. With his two hands he covered large parts of the globe that stood in his study. The entire Europe lay covered by his one palm and he was heard muttering,”It’s small, Europe.”

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Anecdotes: borrowing costs

Samuel Foote(1720-1777) wit
Dear Son,
I am in prison for debt; come and assist your loving mother.-E. Foote

Dear Mother,
So am I; which prevents his loving duty being paid to his loving mother.-Your affectionate son.
Samuel Foote
P.S_ I have sent my attorney to assist you; in the mean time let us hope for better days.
ii
John Ruskin (1819-1900)

John Ruskin once received a request for donation to pay off the mortgage of the Duke Street Chapel and I have given here below an excerpt of his reply. It would seem he was addressing our present world; and for those who want buy now and pay later it may even be an eye opener!
Brentwood, 19 May,1886,
Sir,
I am scornfully amused at your appeal to me, of all people in the world the precisely least like to give you a farthing! My first word to all men and boys to hear me is”Don’t get into debt. Starve and go to heaven-but don’t borrow. Try first begging_ I don’t mind if it’s really needful_stealing!. But don’t buy things you can’t pay for!”….
Isn’t it surprising how what we hold up as a virtue and a proof of a solid character is chipped away so slowly that none notices the enervation of personal values? In his essay ‘Unto This Last’ Ruskin wrote ‘There is no wealth but life.’
Dulled senses of a person who has chased a mirage at the cost of his or her personal values,-character, take the place as a slave driver. No pity or no worthwhile example but the constant goading the person to acquire branded items that he or she doesn’t really need. The victim scarcely notices what is branded right through the flesh to the spirit.

Moral: Virtues of one Age are the vices of another. Capitalism invented mass consumerism and made the bible for the lost and the damned. One only needs to see the mess we are all in.

benny

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Anecdotes: at the Barbershop

Phocion waited wearily as his barber gave him a longwinded summary of the current Athenian political situation. At one point he stopped realizing what he was there for. He asked, ‘How would you like to have your hair trimmed?’
‘In silence’, was the reply.
Note:
Phocion lived in the golden age of oratory and in the department of causing a verbal avalanche none could have stood the force of Demosthenes. Once he told Phocion, ’The Athenians will kill you someday when they are in a rage.’
‘And you, when they are in their senses. ’came the retort. (Ack: The Bumper Book of Insults-Nancy McPhee/Chancellor Press-1981)
2.
Having the custom of the famous French comedian Fernandel made the barber brighten up. He could do hardly enough. After a length of time he produced the mirror and held it behind the famous head and asked, ‘Is that all right?’
Fernandel looked at his cut and gave a look of disapproval. He said, ‘Almost just a little longer at the back, please.’
(Ack: Munich Revu)
compiler:benny

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An Apocryphal Story

Boredom is the enemy #1 to every serious occupation in life. A story which concerns St. John, a favorite disciple of Jesus is that he was once seen sporting with a tame partridge, by an archer who thought that the holy man should not waste his time in such frivolities; The apostle replied that if the archer did not at times relax his bow, it would lose spring.
Can there be time out for holiness? For a saint like St. Francis even frivolities shall prove his human quality in its naturalness. Addressing the sun as Brother Sun or the birds the revered figure of Assissi proved his time out was in fitness of God’s kingdom. The hand that wounds a man of God is an occasion for him to show his essence. He may dismiss it as natural of being among men of all persuasions and quality. For him forgiving comes easier because he is not only thinking of himself but also of another. Tyrants at home demand service and not understand those who serve also have sometimes difficulties in meeting their demands. They have simply forgotten others since they are full of themselves. Those who slash and burn rain forests do so because they want to aggrandize themselves at the expense of others. How can such fellows call themselves as human or decent?

The great Caesar as Plutarch tells us, on one occasion sought shelter under the roof of a rustic shepherd. At dinner time the meal cooked in rancid oil and served to him made the companion bristle with indignity. Caesar could accept the humble meal and thank him for his hospitality. Caesar proved his greatness even under straitened circumstances. He did not forget where he was and his place. He was a guest and having forced himself on another man’s hospitality knew how to behave. Like Caesar each of us is a guest here on earth.
Can there be time out for holiness? Or let us rephrase it like thus: Can there be time out from being human?
Tailpiece: there is nothing that can fix a problem like capitalism than fixing who we are and our decency to others who also have found sharing the space. None of us owns the earth. Perhaps education that we tout as cure-all is a travesty of true purpose of education. Think of damage done under initiative and free enterprise! colossal damage done by cretins in the name of bold initiative. Ptooii! Education on these fellows seems to fit the proverb:’casting pearls before swine’.
benny

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Anecdote:Albert I

Albert I of Belgium
(1875-1934)

On the eve of the outbreak of World War I he was
entertaining a powerful chieftain from the Belgian
Congo at the palace; after dinner at a signal, the royal
orchestra filed into the hall and began tuning their
instruments.
“Tell me the kind of music you like best and my
orchestra will be happy to oblige.” proposed the king.
“That is it,” replied the guest, “they are playing it
now.” The king nodded graciously and for the rest of
the evening the assembled guests listened while the
orchestra tuned up.

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Haim Farhi and the Wali of Damascus

A freed Bosnian slave was appointed the Wali of Damascus. The Port of Acre came under the jurisdiction of this Bosnian who ruled as Pasha Ahmad-al Jassar. He was cruel and also very unjust. The picture shows him counting beads while a condemned man kneels before him. Ordinary punishment was gouging out eyes of anyone that displeased him. On his left is Haim Farhi, a Jew who was retained by the Pasha as his financial adviser. Once he sent the Jew to purchase some merchandise for him. On his return the ruler suspected he was defrauded and ordered his right eye put out. Tip of his nose also was cut off. Later on finding that Farhi was honest he heaped on him many presents and gave back his former position and took him back into his trust. Till his death in 1804 Farhi remained in his service and thereafter served Suleiman Pasha formerly Jazzar’s deputy.( Ack:color plate from the Jews in their land)
benny

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Royal Mistresses-II

Madame de Pompadour
(1721-1764)

The mistress of Louis XV of whom Carlyle wrote, ‘of whom it is not proper to speak without necessity’ was however an exceptional woman. After Encyclopaedia was banned without her active intervention the Enlightenment as a movement could not have got its potential as it did. She was on friendly terms with Voltaire and his circle of friends.
In one of the supper parties at Trianon the Duc de la Valliere wondered loudly what gunpowder was made of. ‘It seems so funny that we spend our time killing partridges, and being killed ourselves on the frontier, and really have no idea how it happens.’
Madame Pompadour didn’t miss her chance and she asked, ‘yes and face powder? What is it made of?’ She turning to the king and asked, “Now if you hadn’t banned the Encyclopaedia, Sire, we could have found out in a moment.’
The king presently asked for a copy from his library. After an amusing evening he relented and allowed the subscribers to have their copies, though he kept the ban for public in place.

Mme de Coislin

Mme de Coislin was a rival who after her success in snatching the king’s favour did not forget to rub it in whenever she had a chance. During a game of brelan Mme de Coislin had a winning hand and she said to Mme de Pompadour, ‘I take the lot.’ Scooping the cards she gloated, ’I’ve a handful of kings.’

Madame de Maintenon
(1635-1719)

Madame de Maintenon the mistress of the Sun King once told her confessor that it tired her very much to make love with the king twice a day and asked it she was obliged to go on doing so. The confessor wrote down her question for his bishop to decide and he replied as a wife she must submit. The king was five years younger to her and she was 75.

Once two mistresses of the Sun King came across each other at Queen’s staircase at Versailles. Marquise de Maintenon called out to Marquise de Montespan and said, “You are going down, Madame, and I am going up.”

Years later Marquise de Maintenon was asked what was her secret of her influence over Louis XIV and she replied, “I always send him away despondent but never in despair.”
benny

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Anecdotes: Royal Mistresses of King Louis XV

On their first night Louis XV said reproachfully to his mistress Countess d’Esparbes,”you have slept with every one of my subjects!”
Bashfully she said,”Oh Sire!” “You have had the Duc de Choiseul.” “He is so powerful.”
“The Marechal de Richelieu.” “He is so witty.” “Monville.” “He has such beautiful legs.” “Very well, but what about the Duc d’Aumont, who has none of these?”
“Ah sire,” replied she, “he, he is so devoted to your
Majesty!”
2.
Madame duBarry (1741-1793)
Illegitimate daughter of a cook she became the favorite mistress of Louis XV, who declared that she was the only woman who made him forget he was 70-something.
As a young girl she was put in a high-class brothel where she was bewildered by exaggerated affections and mannerisms of her colleagues. She felt out of place and lost, which her mother tried to comfort thus, ”Don’t worry, men tire of always eating capons and delicate fruit; a good cabbage now and then delights them.”

benny

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